Ok, I get lots of emails forwarded to me about all kinds of things. I usually take a peek then delete, never sending them on to others. But this one made me crack up while I've been nursing late at night. Enjoy.
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana. 6.Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10.Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14.PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Since Jared gets 6 weeks for Paid Family Leave, I have been one spoiled girl. He gets the boys up in the morning, feeds them, dresses them, then takes Charly so I can sleep until 11 am. I have become a little lazy. For example, I like to yell for Jared from the bed if I need something. He comes & helps me with whatever. So the other morning, I was wanting Jared to come get Charly so I could sleep. I yell politely a couple of times, hit the wall a bit, yell a little louder, but still no answer. (I've always teased him that I'll get a bell since it would drive him nuts) So I get my lazy bum out of bed but my boys are no where to be found. I go to the garage & this is what I see.
They have taken boxes & built "Bad guys" to beat up. Both Grant & Nate have been a little more aggressive towards each other due to the changes & not being able to go outside with all the rain. Jared built them people that they could beat up on all they wanted.
Jared actually traced the boy's profiles for the faces & built arms from tree twigs.
Once the bad guys are dead, they can be put back together to kill again.
Thank you my love, for all the time you are spending with them.
(To all you other Moms, no I don't mind that they use the words kill & dead.
I believe boys are born with this knowledge along with playing "guns")
It all started around 2:30 am. Felt some contractions. Didn't think much of it, had been getting them for a few days. But they were every 15 minutes. So I get up, call the doctor, they say wait till they are 2-3 minutes apart. Well, I had heard from many other mommys that that was too late for their 3rd baby. So around 5:30 I wake up your Father & tell him he doesn't have to go to work today. We call Nana to come watch the boys, & get going to the hospital.
In triage, I go from a 5 to a 7 in 10 minutes, you wanted out. Epidural comes after I've screamed enough about adopting & complaining about my IV. Things get much better till I feel a bit woozy & 5 doctors come rushing in starting to roll me around & putting extra monitors on you & your head. The epidural had caused my blood pressure to drop waaaay too low, & your heart beat kept slowing down. They kept rolling me side to side & shaking my belly, gave me a couple shots to stop the labor (which I thought sucked since I wanted you out!) They were doing a lot of whispering so I asked if they would need to do a c-section. All they said was they hoped not.
Time passed & we got better. Finally the time came for you to make your appearance. About 15 minutes of pain free pushing (no matter what that mid wife said, I did not feel guilty about getting an epidural) you came!! Blue as can be you were set on my belly for us to meet face to face. You were beautiful, of course, newborns are the funniest looking things but are always beautiful. (Around this time your Father answers his cell phone & sticks it in my face when Aunt Pili calls. Hello Jared, they're trying to get the placenta out. Hang up! No offense Pili.) And all is well as you nurse for the next 2 hours.
We are so glad you have come to be with us, & hope that you enjoy your stay here as a Hasleton.
Our family consists of one Daddy (Jared).A Mommy (Jennifer). Grantman who reads, Great Nate who loves to run. Charlotte who is all girl. Elliott that can hold her own. Britton who likes to be in charge.
We love to spend time together, go to the library, camp, sports, take naps and watch movies.
Jennifer tries to keep up with this blog so the kids will have something to read and look at as adults.