Thursday, June 19, 2008

Husbands!!!

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

**************

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support


I copied this from another blog. Thought it was funny! Of course Jared has nothing to do with it.

6 comments:

Dan and Janay said...

That is hilarious! I'll have to tell Janay to read it... when she gets back from her third week of vacation this year! So she can't complain about any of these or I will have to install Golf 24.7

Dan

Amanda said...

lol!!! Loved it! Thanks for sharing!

Dan and Janay said...

Too FUNNY!!!! I might need to copy this from you and put it on my blog. Just as a reminder to Dan that you shouldn't install the Golf 24.7
janay

The Bjurstrom Family said...

Too funny!!!! I had a good laugh. I'm going to copy it and add it to my blog so others can laugh!!

TJ and Ayumi said...

Ha ha! That is stinkin funny!

JB and Kirsti Meyer Family said...

Wonderful Nen! And despite the WoW infringements I'm sure Jared is the prototype Husband 1.0. Good times...