Confinement

           

          Although "confinement" is a term more used for labor, this word has been on my mind. I always wondered what was up with women who needed to be "confined" towards the end of their pregnancy. I mean really? Get over it. Sure it's uncomfortable & hard to move around. But get on with life. 

             Boy have I been bitterly eating those words. I'm not sure why this pregnancy has been so much more difficult than the rest. 

Maybe because I'm over 30 now? 
It's number 5 & my body is done with this process? 
Or is it the fact that I've had 5 kids in 8 years? 

Hmmmmmm. For whatever reason, I am frickin MISERABLE & long to be confined. Or maybe just be put out to pasture. 

             These last 8-9 weeks have been complete torture on my mind & body. Terrible aches, pains, spasms, mood swings, crying (more than usual), anger, depression.  I have been so tired that I can lay in bed all day & still feel exhausted. I avoid people so I don't get upset. It seems I've been sick every other week for 3 months. My ears have been clogged for over a month. No clothes fit because I have gained so much more weight than ever before. And I still have 5 more weeks to go. 5 weeks. 

           My poor Jared cringes at the thought. Doesn't like watching me be miserable. He has been my rock through all this. The only person I can stand to be around. I even get tired of my wonderful children. Just give me my Jared, who happens to never be home & have plenty of other responsibilities then take care of pitiful me.  Even though I am being this super crazy woman, Jared still loves & supports me. Even the crazy me. Which is a large part at the moment.  

       Many times I have to look at my belly & wonder who is in there. Remember why I am going through this hell. Remember how bad it was the other times I was expecting, but look to see who came to be in my family. I love my kids. I'd do anything for them. It makes me feel better for a moment. Till I think of how someone looked at me last week & I start crying or go into a heated rage. 

       The boys have asked why I'm so sick & when I'm going to get better. I told them I was this bad when they were in my belly. I tell them I'd do it again just so they can come into this world to be a part of my life. It makes them smile to think I did this for them too. 

        5 short weeks. Or will they be long? Can I make it to church each Sunday where I hear the word "pop" 20 times or see the pitiful looks given my way? Go to the store without wanting to yell at someone in my way. I mean really, you're going to make me move out of the way? I can barley walk & have 4 kids hanging off my cart. You move. How many more times will my middle finger make an appearance as I honk at the idiots driving around me? Will Jared's pajama pants still fit? Will my kids still like me by the end? How much more stretching can my skin tolerate?

        So please, c.o.n.f.i.n.e. me. 

NewBorn Olympics

New Born Olympic categories are as follows:

I. The distance you can sneeze your spit up across the room.

II. How long you can fight off the nail clippers.

III. The amount of times your poo goes up to your neck (back & front) in a 1 week period.

IV. How fast you can fill the dirty laundry basket. And empty the stain remover.

V. The amount of time you spend rubbing the back of your scalp bald.

VI. How long you can keep your parents awake at night.

VII. The largest spit up puddle on your Mom's back.

VIII. How many pacifiers you can make your parents look for, but are never to be found.

IX. The amount of time you can get a grown adult to stare at you while making annoying baby noises.

X. How you can get Mommy & Daddy to do anything in spite because you are so darn adorable & precious.

*Elliott, we love you & are sure you would win in every category! Although I'm sure it would be a world way tie for number X. cause all babies are adorable.

Shout out Friday

So the baby needs to nurse.

I go to unsnap my nursing bra then realize it's already undone.

Hmmm, how long had it been since I'd nursed on that side?

A few hours?

But mainly, how many places did I go during that time

& how many people noticed?

New Research Project

I have decided to start a new research project. For every time I go someplace with my children, & my kids get in the way of a stranger, I will keep track of the response of each stranger. Their response will fall into one of three categories:

1. They smile &/or laugh. Say that's OK. Comment on how adorable my children are & start a 3.5 minute conversation about their own children.

2. Might smile or give "the look." Possibly say excuse me or "that's alright."

3. Grunt or completely ignore the irritation. They give me a serious "look" even when it was their own fault & they should have said excuse me instead of myself or my kids.

Maybe I can get paid for this type of research...............

Charly's rules for pooping

1. Must have recently taken a bath. 
2. Must be wearing something white or super cute. 
3. Push hard for maximum distance.
4. Diapers are optional.

Oh the Joys of Motherhood Part 2

I had finally put Charly in the swing to sleep & gave the boys lunch to eat so I could shower. I had been sweaty for 3 hours after my work out & was really wanting a shower. My chance had come!! Two seconds into my nice steamy water heaven, Grant comes & yells at the door (waking up Charly)

Grant: MOM- NATE THROWED UP!

Me: WHAT???

Grant: NATE THROWED UP!!

Me: Where?

Grant: At the table.

Me: Tell him not to move.

A couple of things go through my mind....

-This sucks. 

-I wonder about all the places I'll find puke.

-Should I get out? I just started & I really wanted to shave my legs. (I knew I wouldn't get another chance to shower till Jared got home)

Then I hear him at the door...

Nate: MOM!!

Me: I told you to stay at the table!

Nate: I cleaned my throwed up. 

Me:What did you clean it up with??

Nate: Towels.

Me: What towels??

Nate: Dryer!!

Me: You used my clean towels from the dryer??

Nate: Yeah!

Me: (insert large sigh) Please go sit back at the table till I come out.

I decide to finish my shower since the throw up was not going to be contained to the table anyways. Charly is still screaming. Oh well. I want my shower. I finish then start assessing the situation. Charly's swing batteries have gone dead, she's crying. Nate is soaked at the table. Puke is dripping over the legs of the table. What should I do first?? Change the batteries so she'll be happy?? Put Nate in the tub? Clean the drippings before it gets worse? Take a picture so I can (as Amanda says) vent about it on my blog?  Get dressed so I am not dripping water through the house & have my towel keep falling off? 

I take it a bit at a time, & finish. 

So my question to you all is: "Why is the hardest thing for a Mom 

to accomplish during the day is to take an 

uninterrupted peaceful FRICKIN SHOWER???????"

Oh, the joy of motherhood

So here is my afternoon. I put the boys to bed for their nap. Nathan does not want to sleep. That's fine, let him cry. After a bit, I go in to comfort him and boy does it stink.

Of course it's up his back (he doesn't do it any other way), & on some blankets. I wrap it all up with him and head to the hallway to start the clean up.

He's done, I put him back to bed. Stay with him for a little bit to calm him down. The room still smells. Nothing new, it always smells. So I'm sitting there by the crib, trying not to wake Grant. I notice a spot on the bumper by Nathan's head. Oh crap, literally. I had not noticed it before. I lean over to get a better look.

Yes, it was on the bumper, on the sheets, his stuffed animal, but the best part was that he had managed to rub it all over his head.

I took this picture because I know many others have experienced this disaster. Although it still doesn't beat Grant's blowout that went through the bumper onto the wall, these are the times I think we're allowed to go a bit crazy. Good thing it's March so I had a box of Girl scout samoas cookies to console myself.