Confinement

           

          Although "confinement" is a term more used for labor, this word has been on my mind. I always wondered what was up with women who needed to be "confined" towards the end of their pregnancy. I mean really? Get over it. Sure it's uncomfortable & hard to move around. But get on with life. 

             Boy have I been bitterly eating those words. I'm not sure why this pregnancy has been so much more difficult than the rest. 

Maybe because I'm over 30 now? 
It's number 5 & my body is done with this process? 
Or is it the fact that I've had 5 kids in 8 years? 

Hmmmmmm. For whatever reason, I am frickin MISERABLE & long to be confined. Or maybe just be put out to pasture. 

             These last 8-9 weeks have been complete torture on my mind & body. Terrible aches, pains, spasms, mood swings, crying (more than usual), anger, depression.  I have been so tired that I can lay in bed all day & still feel exhausted. I avoid people so I don't get upset. It seems I've been sick every other week for 3 months. My ears have been clogged for over a month. No clothes fit because I have gained so much more weight than ever before. And I still have 5 more weeks to go. 5 weeks. 

           My poor Jared cringes at the thought. Doesn't like watching me be miserable. He has been my rock through all this. The only person I can stand to be around. I even get tired of my wonderful children. Just give me my Jared, who happens to never be home & have plenty of other responsibilities then take care of pitiful me.  Even though I am being this super crazy woman, Jared still loves & supports me. Even the crazy me. Which is a large part at the moment.  

       Many times I have to look at my belly & wonder who is in there. Remember why I am going through this hell. Remember how bad it was the other times I was expecting, but look to see who came to be in my family. I love my kids. I'd do anything for them. It makes me feel better for a moment. Till I think of how someone looked at me last week & I start crying or go into a heated rage. 

       The boys have asked why I'm so sick & when I'm going to get better. I told them I was this bad when they were in my belly. I tell them I'd do it again just so they can come into this world to be a part of my life. It makes them smile to think I did this for them too. 

        5 short weeks. Or will they be long? Can I make it to church each Sunday where I hear the word "pop" 20 times or see the pitiful looks given my way? Go to the store without wanting to yell at someone in my way. I mean really, you're going to make me move out of the way? I can barley walk & have 4 kids hanging off my cart. You move. How many more times will my middle finger make an appearance as I honk at the idiots driving around me? Will Jared's pajama pants still fit? Will my kids still like me by the end? How much more stretching can my skin tolerate?

        So please, c.o.n.f.i.n.e. me. 

The way He works....

We currently have a fun missionary serving in our area.

His name is Elder Taratai from the island of Kiribati.

He has a lot of great stories, but this one is my favorite.

When Elder Taratai was 2 years old, his 5 month old baby brother was adopted to a family in the US.

All Elder Taratai knew, was his brother's birth name. That's it.

About a year ago, at a Zone conference

(a meeting where all the missionaries in the area get together),

Elder Taratai felt impressed to talk to an Elder from Arizona.

Elder Taratai asked this other missionary if he knew of anyone

that had been adopted from the Island of Kiribati.

The Arizona missionary said yes.

His best friend growing up had been adopted from that same island along with his brother.

The missionary gave Elder Taratai his best friend's info.

But it turned out that it wasn't his brother.

BUT, that family had adopted their 2 boys along with another LDS family

that had adopted a little boy that had moved to Washington.

So they passed on their information.

Elder Taratai writes to this family asking about the adoption

giving his little brother's birth name.

(please forgive me. I can't for the life of me remember what their island names are)

The family, last name of Allen, says YES!! that is their son's birth name.

His name is now Brock Allen. Getting ready to serve a mission back to Arizona.

Some plans are made, & Brock gets to come to Sac to meet one of his biological brothers.

It's a little confusing, but isn't that amazing??

Two brothers found each other in such a providential way.

We were blessed to share part of their day together

as we had them over for dinner.

Shout out Friday

So I was rocking to a work out video this morning.

Getting ready to shed that baby weight.

Noticed my front room was super dusty.

I'll just keep my feet moving & dust.

I might as well clean off the entertainment center.

A quick vacuum. Put away the dishes.

My feet are still moving, keeping up the heart rate right?

Some toys in the hallway. Oh wait, do a couple minutes of the video still playing.

Put in a load of laundry. Go through some papers sitting around.

A quick wipe down in the bathrooms.

Then wipe down the windows in front rooms.

Stretch time in the video. Ahhh, feel so nice. Video is done.

With the house now being clean,

what will I do for my workout video tomorrow morning?

NewBorn Olympics

New Born Olympic categories are as follows:

I. The distance you can sneeze your spit up across the room.

II. How long you can fight off the nail clippers.

III. The amount of times your poo goes up to your neck (back & front) in a 1 week period.

IV. How fast you can fill the dirty laundry basket. And empty the stain remover.

V. The amount of time you spend rubbing the back of your scalp bald.

VI. How long you can keep your parents awake at night.

VII. The largest spit up puddle on your Mom's back.

VIII. How many pacifiers you can make your parents look for, but are never to be found.

IX. The amount of time you can get a grown adult to stare at you while making annoying baby noises.

X. How you can get Mommy & Daddy to do anything in spite because you are so darn adorable & precious.

*Elliott, we love you & are sure you would win in every category! Although I'm sure it would be a world way tie for number X. cause all babies are adorable.

Shout out Friday

This post is in no way meant to be bitter.

Mothers, holidays & gifts.

Yesterday I went to Wal Mart to pick out my birthday present.

I gave them to Jared to wrap with the boys.

How many times have we done this?

I've picked up my own Christmas, Mother's day, & bday gifts forever.

Valentines Jared knows I want See's.

I'm sure it all started with the first month we were married.

Jared bought me a super nice bangle bracelet.

He didn't know my hands & wrists

are too small for a bangle.

I think that traumatized him from ever buying me presents.

Ever since then, I get my own.

Or how about the gifts we get that are for the family.

I got car mats for Christmas.

Sippy cups or vacuum cleaner for a birthday.

New tires for a Mother's day. Etc.

I think the best part is when I ask Grant to wrap my present,

he says I have to leave the room so I don't know what it is.

Here's to Moms being happy enough to not care.

That black & white girl pair

No, I'm not racist. They said I should use that title.

So I'm lying in bed, kids are watching a movie, the doorbell rings.

I get up, look out the window, nothing.

I then look down to see if someone left something.

There was a FREAKIN TINY BABY ON MY DOORSTEP!!!!!!

I looked again to make sure.

So many things ran through my mind.

A split second thought was Woo Hoo!

Someone gave me their baby!! Don't judge me.

Then all the stories of guys leaving recordings of a baby cry

to lure out women to attack them.

I ran throughout the house locking everything, calling my in laws

to see if they were home to come over just in case.

I looked again, the baby wasn't moving, I couldn't tell if it was real.

So I did it. I called 911. You know what they said?

"All circuits are currently busy, please call back later."

Isn't that comforting. Good thing though,

cause then I saw her come & pick up the "baby." You stinker, you know who you are.

I run outside, crying at this point, & they're leaving.

They weren't sure if I was home so had come back to get the "baby."

After a few minutes, I was able to calm down.

Telling the girls they had freaked me out.

I had been about to lock my kids in the bathroom with water cups & a box of fishies.

All in all, it was just a prank.

Good thing 911 didn't answer so the girls didn't get in any trouble.

That thing looked so real through my window.

In all seriousness, if someone wants to give me their baby,

just give me a heads up first.

You silly, silly girls.

Oh Baby....

Dear baby,

Oh what you've done to me. Because of you I haven't left my bed in 5 days.

I haven't showered in 4.....ew, gross.

Because of you I've let other people take my kids wherever they want

& not had even one image of them all dying or being kidnapped.

Your older siblings have been living off cheez-its & fruit snacks

because that's what Grant can open.

They don't even ask me to get out of bed

any more cause they know it's useless.

Because of you I now have a record of not checking my email

for more than 3 days. I don't remember the last time I brushed my hair,

washed my face or brushed my teeth. When did I last change my undies?

I have no idea. I'm sure today is Sunday since I heard Hymns

playing from the office & I think Nate was wearing a vest.

Oh baby, what you've done to me.

Because of you I have chosen to put my body through this.

Because of you I am willing to put myself through this hell like week

& not know when it will end.

Because of you, I get excited to think of the time I will get to meet you face to face

& the pain & misery seems less. I am blessed to have the privilege to sacrifice my body,

my sanity (whatever is left of that), my time & well being.

Because of you & however many others there may be,

I am happy to do my time if it means you get to come be a part of my eternal family.

If it means you get to be mine forever, I will do this as long as needs be.

Because of you.

Teach your kids how to change a tire

So I was out & about last week. My van was driving funny

& I wondered to myself.....Hmmm if I were to get flat tire, what would I do?

I know how to change one, but those who have an Odyessy like mine,

know what a pain it is to reach the spare.

So I reach my destination, go about my business, come back,

buckle up all the kids, then sure enough, my back tire is ful-lat.

CRAP.

I get in the car, call everyone I can think of. No luck.

My Mom can be there in 30 min to pick us up.

I planned on ditching the car until later.

Well, I started reading the car's instructions on getting that dang spare out.

I rearrange all the chairs & get that darn thing out.

Then Charly poops. Of course, it's a doosy.

While all the kids are floating around the inside of the car,

I spent a good 10 minutes trying to get my

(please insert choice of many swear words) car jack out. Grrr.

Grant kept saying, you're doing it wrong Mom, let me try.

"Thank you Grant, but please be quiet," I say

trying to not show my high level of irritation.

So I'm on my knees under the car, hoping

I have the jack in the right spot,

when my angel walks by.

Side note: All you other potential angels that walked by

with a pitiful look on your face, screw you.

Anyways, a nice looking lady who says,

"would you like some help? My son is good with cars."

I break down & start crying, "Yes, I would love some help."

My kids are bouncing around in the car, Charly has her hands

& mouth against the window with a couple quarts of

drool dripping down. I'm already feeling guilty

jacking up the car with my kids in it. What was I supposed to do?

Leave them to wander the parking lot?

So this small boy of around 14 comes & whips that poopy spare on in no time.

HALLELUJAH!!

I give him a great hug that I'm sure he didn't want.

Told him to make sure to tell his Mom

(she had to go inside with her daughter for an appointment)

I'm so thankful for her offer & their kindness.

My kids will learn to change a tire as son as possible.

They will offer their service, & not just walk by thinking

Wow, sucks for you.

Thank you to my parking lot angels!

Another side note: While at the tire place, the guy came in & asked

where my spare belongs in the car. The other employee says, "the Odyssey?

Behind the the front seats. It's a B**ch to get out."

Amen my brotha!

New Research Project

I have decided to start a new research project. For every time I go someplace with my children, & my kids get in the way of a stranger, I will keep track of the response of each stranger. Their response will fall into one of three categories:

1. They smile &/or laugh. Say that's OK. Comment on how adorable my children are & start a 3.5 minute conversation about their own children.

2. Might smile or give "the look." Possibly say excuse me or "that's alright."

3. Grunt or completely ignore the irritation. They give me a serious "look" even when it was their own fault & they should have said excuse me instead of myself or my kids.

Maybe I can get paid for this type of research...............

My family cracks me up!

We were watching a "kissing" scene during a Disney movie

& both boys started saying, "eewwwwwww."

I told them that one day they would meet the right girl they would want to kiss.

Then Jared says, "or whatever girl is right next you."

THE ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT: The boys absolutely lu-ove playing

kill the bad guys. So they're running around, killing their toys,

when Nathan says his dinosaur is so super dead.

Grant says, "he's so dead he's never gonna get resurrected."

We went to a party with Valentine's Day decorations.

Lots of hearts & such. On the car ride home, Nate says his heart is broken.

We can never fix it. Jared says it takes a long time to heal a broken heart,

& a new girlfriend. (I love this guy)

Grant says,"all you need are lots of hugs and kisses."

So sweet.

This just in: It's been an eventful day!

Grant was having a hard time getting his sweatshirt off.

When asking Jared for help, he says,

" I have a Norwegian head. That means my head is HUGE!"

Nate took his Band-Aid off & said the blood was all gone.

Grant says, "That means you're resurrected!."

I yell at Nathan that he better not be eating any more fruit snacks.

He said he was "just checking" that there were still more left.

Later, I saw that the package was empty.

Charlotte peed on the ground before I put a diaper on her.

After her bath of course.

Jared had his first interview with his new "field."

He has a new field!!

Today I was able to finish my first quilt using free motion quilting.

A few boo boos, but I'm very proud of myself!

I got my baby back baby back baby back baby back

WHOO HOO!!!!!

Our cam-er-a has arrived from the doctor.

Might I just say that I will NEVER EVER take this thing for granted again.

No never.

The other cameras I purchased for a cheap price were bootsie (to say the least).

I'm glad Jared picked out such a nice camera back in the day we could afford it.

Although it was a few pretty pennies to get the thing fixed.

The first picture taken with the new lens/aperture & dent taken out?

The gorgeous Charlotte who has found the toilet paper annoyingly rolled up.

To fix it, she must first unroll, then drag throughout the house.

Now isn't that some good quality picture taking?

My apologies to Target.

Thanks for letting me return all the other cameras :p

Lisa's Mirror

One of my favorite SIL posted this on her blog recently. I asked her if I could copy it & post it on mine seeing it said everything I wish I could. You can see her here.

Mirror, Mirror

My poor old body. Tonight I had the rare opportunity to take a bath. Yesterday while rushing around like an exhausted zombie I tried to impale my thigh on our front gate. Seriously, I first felt the shock of hitting it and then in my confused state I kept going forward into the protruding metal bars. I don’t know, maybe I was hoping if I hit again I might win the second time. But I definitely lost. Then hurrying to clean the wound and get into bed I taped on an inferior cloth bandage and called it good enough. This evening it was predictably “glued” to the gash necessitating a long soak and proving that while haste makes waste, haste + exhaustion makes pain.

Painful origins of the bath aside, I really enjoyed the soak and lived it up with a bit of Epsom salt poured in. It’d been quite a day, quite a week, quite a month, quite a year. So much has happened. So much of it good. So much of it just-what-happens-to-people-when-they’re-alive. But I digress (and when don’t I), to concentrate on today, when I stepped out of the bath and looked in the mirror I was shocked. Who was that mess of a woman and how come she was taking up my reflection?

Then I remembered, oh yes, that’s me. That’s what I look like now. Not that I was expecting to see twenty-something Lisa: effortlessly size six, naturally long blond hair, and blue eyes unhidden by glasses (which I believe is the legal definition of pretty—wish I’d appreciated it more then), but neither did I expect the wreck of a human that wearily chuckled and sighed back at me.

My lovely bruise, glowing purple and red above my knee, was nothing compared to the lines of stretch marks that shone on my legs and torso in rippling waves. Sadly, there is plenty of flesh for those marks to illuminate.
Nor could my bruise compete with that strange crater that my poor belly button has become. My pitiable navel has been living the life of fugitive for the last ten years. It keeps going into hiding, lost at the end of a massive growth, only to resurface, wider and worse for the wear, 9 months later.
And perhaps it is the 45 months of pregnancy that is responsible for my stature, but I just didn’t seem to be as tall as I once was. Is that possible? Or maybe it was just my posture, perhaps I was stooped from the pain and annoyance of that monthly visitor I am entertaining. Which then indicates that I’m no longer nursing and therefore the one-two? things I didn’t mind looking large now just hung there.
And to top it all off, my eye make up, which I hadn’t removed yet, was smudged from the crying I done earlier at a funeral for David’s mentor who was taken too soon by a -hard, early life in the Chinese coal mines and nicotine. Altogether, I looked something like a large, wet raccoon drug in by the dogs.

“Oh yikes,” was all I could think. “Oh yikes, what happened to you Lisa? Who did this? And why?” It was a very depressing moment for me and my reflection, standing there facing the naked truth. Then grace, sweet grace, came and I recalled, through no effort of my own (after all, all my efforts were engaged in suppressing laughter and tears at that lady in the mirror) the Parable of the Talents.

Suddenly I understood that my body was exactly what I wanted it to be, perhaps minus the bruise. And to answer my questions: Life happened. I did this to me. And because I want to live that life to it’s fullest and for the purpose that it was given.

As that long ago twenty-something I thought that the talents in the parable meant abilities like playing the piano, manipulating a soccer ball, or even befriending people. It never struck me to take it farther to the most obvious gift that our Heavenly Father has bestowed. So, with renewed vigor I take on the challenges of this life. I will not bury my body in the gym or hide it in the kitchen. I will strengthen it, feed it right, use it to bless others, and keep it until it is completely worn out and ready to hear the words “well done thou good and faithful servant.”

-Lisa

A New Favorite

Drop whatever you are doing & go get a copy of

"The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society"

(I think the library has a lengthy list over 100 people)

I just finished it & LOVED it! It was funny, interesting,

disturbing, (war stories) but made me grab each of my

children & be grateful for them. The characters were some of the

best developed & the story line was the best. I don't really know how to

describe this book. Just get through those first few pages

with all the characters, then you'll be there

& wanting to buy a plane ticket to Guernsey.

(Although Jared says it's not worth it.)

Also, Jared just made the best eggplant bacon pasta.

Better than any pasta I've had at a restaurant.

His cooking really has ruined eating out.

Thanks to Vinnie for the recipe.

Chop bacon into a skillet at medium
Add onions when bacon gets "chewy"
Add garlic and cubed eggplant when onion starts to get clear
When eggplant tastes good to you, add to cooked pasta and chopped tomatoes. Add fresh mozzarella as a nice touch - I like to shake salt on the whole pot and mix it.

Sorry, no measurements.

"Making Do With The Not So New"

I have a HORRIBLE habit of searching for fun websites & blogs. When I find one, I'm in trouble. I'll sit there in front of the computer for a good 2 hours reading every article, looking at every project. My bookmark page is full of the fun places I have found. So the last couple of hours I have been reading articles from this page.... Making Do With The Not So New  very interesting stuff. There is a list on the right hand side of thrifty things to do.  Some stuff I have heard of, others were brand new to me. 

Going off one of those links, I found this. I go back & forth about doing clothe diapers. Should I do it? I think Yes, I could do it. Then I don't want the leaks & plastic liners on my kids bums. Sorry Environment. But this blog goes even farther with "family clothe." I think I could do it for myself. Maybe not for the dirty bums that come around here. 

What do you think?

Door Step Angels

THANK YOU   THANK YOU   THANK YOU 

To whomever you are, 

we love you & are grateful for 

your thoughtfulness & gifts.

I guess I smelled that bad on Sunday huh?

My hair sends special regards. 

Update

Update to post below. 

Plus a $75 visit to the ER for Grant. 

He's fine. 

ARGHHH

Please excuse me. I need a little "wo is me" venting.

Since Jared lost his job a couple months ago, we've been watching our budget. But the last couple of weeks we've been on money lock down. Seriously. We buy nothing. I've been using body lotion on my face, old make up samples for eye shadow, spray leave in conditioner for my hair, windex to clean my kitchen counter, baby detergent for all our laundry needs, & mooch flour & butter off our parents. Who can live w/o butter? Good thing for WIC. We'd be living off our food storage & large collection of Pasta Roni.

So why is it when we do so good, other things happen?

Like our brakes needing full replacing=$230.

We need 4 new tires & alignment=$105 a tire & $60 alignment.

And no we can't wait on this. Our mechanic (in whom we trust) says not to wait more than a month. Eeek! That's scary.

A Periodontist bill for $250 which our insurance won't cover. Just for the Doc to tell me I can't have surgery. You PUNK!

You know how many groceries I can buy with this money??

Don't get me wrong. I am so grateful for the things I have. A beautiful healthy family, a roof over our heads, 2 working cars, food storage, reduced COBRA payments, friends with fruit trees, a husband who makes great bread, no debt, things lying around the house we can use. I had no idea how many samples & trial sizes of soaps & lotions I had under the sink. I've made it a point to use them all. Some really stink. If you think you smelled something funny at church on Sunday, it was most likely me. Rasberry mint shampoo. Cool cucumber conditioner. Cranberry body wash. Some fruity lotion which stank so bad that after putting it on my arms I threw it away & continued to put mango melon on my legs. Yup, that smell was me.

Sometimes I feel like we shouldn't try at all. Just rack up our credit cards & get what we want. On the other hand, I'm a little interested to see how far we can go using what we have. Don't worry, we have plenty of toilet paper & diapers.

Me & my big fat mouth

When talking about cameras I posted a comment on a friend's post a couple days ago about how I wished our super nice camera would break (it's really nice, I'm just ungrateful) so we could buy a new, smaller one. So when I go to get the camera this morning, & notice that one of my adorable children had broken the lens, I immediately regretted not knocking on wood. With a family reunion coming, but no income coming, what's a girl to do?

Snobs with sticks up their bums

So I go to the perio today to see if I need YET another surgery in my problematic mouth. This group is new to me. There's no way I'm going to the same Doc who took my thousand dollars, cut up my gums, implanted some dead guy's gums (excuse the insensitivity), then sent me on my way only to have the dentist 3 years later ask if I brushed my new gums away. I head over to a posh area where my van is the crappiest car in the parking lot (my poor vehicle does need some paint work, but it's still a nice looking car!). This was my first clue. 

I drag my 3 darlings into a big building made of glass (didn't try too hard to get a sitter). Was "welcomed" by a receptionist who gave a beautiful smile till she saw who I brought with me. She was nice enough, but I could tell it was all fake. She was just waiting for me to be out of ear shot to gab about the trashy looking mom who brought her kids. (I know I'm judging her, but you should have seen her face)

The assistant was nice enough, but then comes the doctor. WHEW. Let me tell you. It's not that he's totally hot, but he had that atmosphere of one of THOSE doctors who on TV who get all the ladies & doesn't care about how much money he spends. Once again, I know I'm judging, but you weren't there! He takes a look at my kids, says hi. Someday he'll get married & GET AROUND to having one. We talk about my situation. He doesn't think I should have another graft with everything on my plate. Maybe in a few years when the kids get bigger & are in school. HELLOOOO! It's only 3 kids. You don't think I can handle it??? Besides, in a few years I'll probably have some more. I didn't mention that part to him. 

We figure out a plan for my teeth to not fall out any time soon. He's super nice, but at the same time acts like he has much better things to do. What, my money isn't as good as any one else's? Your time is too good for me? You don't think I can handle your surgery? Whatever. If you weren't so highly recommended, I wouldn't be coming back. 

We go out to the receptionist who wants to set an appointment for me to come back for a procedure my dentist can do for half the price. I say I'm not sure of my schedule, I want to make sure I can get a sitter. She looks at my cupcakes & says, "That's a good idea." Nothing wrong with that. Just the tone & look on her sweet face. She's perfect for this office. I overheard her talking on the phone to an insurance company who wasn't up to her standards. She was sweet as pie (I don't like pie), but still demanding that someone deal with this particular issue & fast before she started threatening them. I don't know what a dentist threatens about. 

So I walk out feeling a little overwhelmed. My children were very well behaved except for a couple of hitting sessions. They were quiet & read their books most of the time we spent there. I'm not quite sure if I'm just over reacting. But why do people need to think they're better just because they're wearing a $300 pair of shoes, drive a M6 BMW, don't have kids throwing up on them or causing stress related mouth injuries. So what if I have kids & feel comfortable bringing them everywhere I go. They are good kids & I'm doing the Lord's work with them. 

To those who have giant gold plated sticks up your bum.... bend over so I can pull it out & beat you over the head with it. 

Thank you for letting me vent.